C'est la Vie, Stage Four

My recent bone and liver scans showed mixed results:  improvement in the soft tissue around my bones, whatever that means, and either no change or growth in the liver lesions.  That's per my oncologist; I haven't read the report myself, although I expect I will eventually because I want to know how much the tumors in my liver have grown, and he didn't mention that. Regardless, I've started a new chemo drug.  It's my third, and it's called Xeloda.  I take three big pills twice a day, one week on, one week off. The fatigue and bone pain hit me about two days in.  As I muscled through that, I really hoped that in off weeks I'd start to feel okay within a few days of stopping the drug, but that hasn't been the case.  I am terribly fatigued--physically, mentally, and emotionally.  And I'm quite concerned about one of the potential Xeloda side effects, a horrific-sounding condition called Foot and Hand Syndrome, where one's palms and the soles of one...

Having bounced in and out of hospital so many times in my life, I can't help but wonder what would happen in the aftermath if I went in someday and didn't make it home.  Most people don't sit around chatting with their loved ones about whether they want to be buried or cremated or both or something else, and I know my closest relative is uncomfortable with any talk about "that death stuff," so how could anyone guess at what I'd want my send-off to be, and who would pay for it?  I decided to take the matter in hand and pre-plan for my funeral. Actually, I've pre-planned to not have a funeral.  A lovely Pre-Arrangement Counselor from Holman's Funeral & Cremation Service here in Portland worked with me to arrange to be cremated, and I selected a nondescript, white urn made of cornstarch to hold my ashes.  What's left of me will be shipped to my aforementioned closest relative, who can either keep the urn aboveground, where it will remain intact, ...

We resumed chemo last Thursday, the 5th.  I'm surprised to find the side effects are somewhat different this time.  Fortunately, I've had no significant nose bleeds, which might be partially ascribed to the fact that my platelets have come up a bit, although they're still half of normal.  Instead, I've had stomach and bone pain.  I checked the Taxol info and found that these side effects are common. What's not different is the fatigue; or, more accurately, the malaise:  a lack of motivation, indifference to the completion of everyday tasks that keep a home tidy.  I need to rest if I'm up for more than 10 minutes or so.  Walking to the garbage chute at the end of the hall or going downstairs to check the mail counts as exercise these days. I'm scheduled for scans on April 18.  The results will help us decide on the plan for the remaining weeks.  I'm nervous, but I'm trying to have hope (I wish I hadn't scanned the Washington Post article abo...

There's a theory that sugar "feeds" tumors, but I asked a few doctors and they said there's no credible evidence to support this.  Still, I know I will eat way too many sweets if I'm not disciplined, and the fact that I love to bake doesn't help. When I started chemotherapy I decided to make a real effort to reduce the amount of sugar--added and natural--that I put into my body every day.  I figured it couldn't hurt, and it might help.  I read about the book Sugar Detox Me  by Summer Rayne Oakes and ordered a copy from Powell's.  My expectations were low--I assumed it would be another quacky guide, despite the author's degrees in Environmental Sciences and Entomology--so I was pleasantly surprised to find it contained delicious-looking dishes made from easy to follow, and easy to execute, recipes.  Most of the recipes are vegetarian, but some feature chicken or sausage, and many feature eggs.   Sugar Detox Me  has handy Meal Maps.  The a...